Friday, April 11, 2014

Time


Sometimes I miss writing, but I love the life I have now, busy, crazy and filled with daily fun.  Life has a funny way in teaching you what it means with moments flying by.  For now my words rest in my heart and I know when the time comes they will come out again in the poetry I use to talk in.  The stories that I have will find it's way out, and in the end my life is what it should be.

With every season in your life certain things grow and others fade, but this does not mean you have to mourn the changes.  NO it means you can celebrate what you have now, how you think, talk and react.  Maybe I finally grew up, maybe I finally found the peace I so needed. The words and thoughts I have now is calmer, and I speak a different language, to find my voice in the new improved me is what is needed.

Keep smiling in the end it really is not as bad as you think.


Monday, February 03, 2014

My family has perfection in bliss.

I have so much on my mind, but this is all good.  I have plans for the future.  Plans to write, and plans to be silent. Plans to build a life extraordinary. It does not have to special to the outside world, it needs to be special for me, my husband and my daughter.  We are living a life of joy.
Our wedding.

If you do not listen to what song the wind plays, or what lyrics the birds sing, you miss out.  Working in the vegetable garden, swimming, dancing and being silly might seem like nothing to the outside world.  For our family this is everything filled with bliss.

We laugh together, we play together, we eat together and most important we pray together.

Be blissful in your own delights.

Thursday, January 02, 2014

When God decides it's enough.

It has been a very long time since I wrote anything, and during this time my life has dramatically changed. 
The last post was so strange, when I read it now I cannot believe that was me. I took on God and I did not realize it with my mind, but my soul knew exactly what it was doing. 

God was a bit upset off course and he put me in my place, but not in the way I thought he would. He shook me, to the very darkest pit of my soul.  

It all started one morning on my way to work as I pleaded alone with Him in my car, in a desperate “last” attempt to get some clarity into why I can not find God, or understand life for that matter.   AND Why I had this horrible dark pit inside of me.  I was so far lost, that no words can explain clearly how black my black was.  Yes on the outside I was always smiling, what else is there?  You must put on your brave face and just go on I had a daughter and I had to look after her no matter what. That morning in my red little car, I had enough.  God you pop up everywhere in my life but all I have is depression and anxieties, resentment and memories of horrific events.  I read and read and read, meditate and heaven only knows what other nonsense to try and find YOU, but you just never come closer to me.  When I had a minute that morning I wrote the poem I posted on my blog and just tried to get through the day.


The months that followed seem to only happen in books and as my life now unfolds, I often sit back in awe.  I feel I need to tell my story, I need to first have a conversation with God on what He thinks I should share and if anything.  He has given me the gift of words and if I am to write my journey, it needs a divine Guide.

I have missed all the blogging friends, and also missed reading and sharing......please take care and I hope 2014 is a blessed year for everyone.

Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Sinner

Hold my hand
Google Images
between the sun,
and your skin.
mercy might know,
we are lust.

Face the fact,
we are the damned.
with blood dripping,
from our souls.
We bash our heads in.
Laughing at the sight.
Lost morals,
when we ate flesh.
oozing death,
we wipe it clean.
Pray you know,
your sin is forgiven.
The lesson we learn.
vanished in meditation.
ever silence of the brilliant soul.
you cannot change the world,
if you crawl in filth and hate.

I hate you,
because you are me.
I want to know you,
as we are one.
Love the light of sun.
My hand the touch,
when you knew no one.
I am the calm in your storm,
Only I know you, Love.






Monday, March 04, 2013

Love with strangers.

Google images
I need to know,
if you are there.
Between nothing
and everything.

Bad dreams drawing blood.
Empty sheets,
drowned sorrows.
In tears that seldom dry.

Stars forgot the answer.
Oceans whisper forgotten love.
I beat my soul,
blood seeping through.

scream at strangers!

Hoping you hear me.
I cannot love,
without you here.

Enough the reason,
I have to be love.
Bruises hidden
behind stories of ink.

Only one without a name,

Feel me,
know me,
be me.